Although the actor and his partner have occasionally wondered which one of them shares a biological connection with each of their children, they’ve decided not to find out. Now, as their kids enter their teenage years, the couple looks back on their journey through parenthood, reflecting on the lessons they’ve learned along the way.
For Neil Patrick Harris and his partner, David Burtka, their definition of family has always centered on love rather than biology. The couple became parents to twins through surrogacy and chose not to discover which child was biologically connected to which parent.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris at the opening night of “God of Carnage” on April 27, 2023, in New York. | Source: Getty Images
Instead, their attention has been on raising their children, teaching them core values, and navigating the constant shifts of parenthood. Discover more about the couple’s wonderful family and gain insight into their thoughts on the joys and challenges of becoming fathers.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris at the Golden Heart Awards 2023 benefiting God’s Love We Deliver at The Glasshouse on October 16 in New York. | Source: Getty Images
Hollywood Fame to Family Ties: A Star’s Path to Personal Fulfillment
The pair first crossed paths in 2004 on a bustling New York City street corner, introduced by a mutual friend named Kate. At first, Neil, a celebrated actor famous for his performances in Doogie Howser, M.D. and How I Met Your Mother, mistakenly believed David was romantically involved with Kate.
It was revealed that David, a skilled actor and chef who had made a mark in both fields, was already in a relationship with someone else. Yet, Neil couldn’t help but be drawn to the brooding, James Dean-like figure in a leather jacket.
As time passed, the two found themselves in a committed relationship, eventually embarking on a new journey together when they decided to become parents.
Their first real conversation took place at a party, where Neil, feeling nervous, fumbled over his words while speaking to David. Despite the awkwardness, they continued spending time together, and it wasn’t until weeks later that they finally went on their first official date.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris at the 61st Annual Tony Awards afterparty on June 11, 2007. | Source: Getty Images
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka at the premiere of “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantánamo Bay” at the Cinerama Dome on April 17, 2008, in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris at the 63rd Annual Tony Awards on June 7, 2009, in New York. | Source: Getty Images
From that moment forward, their connection was unmistakable. They swiftly fell in love and moved in together just months later. David eventually proposed at the same street corner where they’d first crossed paths, and Neil mirrored the gesture with his own proposal on Valentine’s Day.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris at the 62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on August 29, 2010, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images
After years of building a strong partnership, they embraced a new chapter by deciding to start a family. Through surrogacy, the couple joyfully welcomed their twins, Harper Grace and Gideon Scott, on October 12, 2010.
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Reflecting on their journey to parenthood in an interview, Neil revealed that they had implanted two embryos — one created with his sperm and the other with David’s — hoping that at least one would take. In a beautiful turn of events, both embryos successfully developed, leading to the birth of fraternal twins.
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However, transitioning to life as new parents came with both excitement and its share of challenges. The “How I Met Your Mother” star reflected:
“Everyone says it’s all a blur after it happens. I’m constantly trying to wrap my head around it.”
His partner added, “Harper was a little fussy, but Gideon was the easiest baby ever. Now, they’re at the age where they recognize us and smile — it’s the most amazing feeling.”
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Ten years later, Harper and Gideon are now teenagers, and their famous parents have reflected on their experiences in this new chapter of parenting.
Throughout their journey, one of the most talked-about decisions they made was choosing not to determine which twin is biologically related to which parent.
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During an interview with Barbara Walters, Neil made it clear that they had no plans to conduct a DNA test. “We are their parents, and I love them unconditionally,” he affirmed. Still, the couple couldn’t help but wonder based on their children’s traits and personalities which of them might be the biological father.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris with their twins from a post dated June 19, 2022. | Source: Instagram/nph
“The girl is, I think, mine, and the boy is his. He’s a bit more thoughtful and intellectual — he needs to read people — while she’s just like, ‘Hey, everybody, I’m here!'” David shared with a laughing crowd during an interview in 2015.
Ten years later, Harper and Gideon are now teenagers, and their well-known parents have opened up about their experiences navigating this new phase of parenting.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris with their twins from a post dated June 19, 2022. | Source: Instagram/nph
Watching their children grow and develop their own personalities has brought a new dimension to their parenting approach, as Neil explained:
“You spend so much time with your kids as parents, trying to teach them values, humor, and independence. Now that they’re older and don’t always want to be around you, you start to see how that all unfolds.”
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris with their twins from a post dated June 19, 2022. | Source: Instagram/nph
The actor also stressed the importance of setting an example, frequently teaching his children about the idea of karma. “I tell my kids, ‘You’ll have chances to make good or not-so-good decisions. Hold the door open for someone, not because you expect something back, but because they’re carrying bags, and you want to be kind,'” he shared.
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