First place: (They warn you about this guy in school, but I never imagined I’d actually meet The Guy With No Social Boundaries.) I had been given a heads-up that the client I was going to massage was being escorted out after the session. Apparently, it was an “annoyance to other guests” situation, not a security issue, so I agreed to take him on. By the time I had walked him from the check-in area to the treatment room just a few feet away, he had already insulted me three times.
After he changed and was lying on the table face down, I knocked and entered the room. He was propped up on his elbows, so I asked if he had any trouble positioning his head or staying face down for the next half-hour. He scoffed and said, “Oh, it’s not that big.” The rest of the time, I had to carefully redirect his conversations from extremely uncomfortable topics to something more appropriate. He had absolutely no hesitation about oversharing personal details and didn’t realize how loud, obnoxious, rude, and inappropriate he came across.
Their Client Was a Loud Moaner
I’m still relatively new to being a registered massage therapist. The most awkward experience so far happened during my time in the student clinic. The space had about six rooms separated by hospital curtains where we performed massages. I had a male client come in complaining of lower back pain. Little did I know, I was apparently too good at my job. From outside the curtain, it sounded like something wildly inappropriate was happening.
He was moaning like a star in an adult film. I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but he was just expressing his appreciation. He kept coming back week after week, and eventually, I got used to it. However, other clients would often inform the supervisor, convinced something questionable was going on…
Their Client Needed an Emotional Outlet
I’ve been pretty lucky as a massage therapist when it comes to horror stories or difficult clients. I work in a small practice that emphasizes the therapeutic benefits of massage rather than the spa-like experience. While we do offer those services, they’re not the primary reason people come to us.
Back when I was in school, there was a woman who regularly visited our student clinic and always requested me. She was kind, but oh my goodness, did she carry a ton of emotional baggage. I saw her about five times, and without fail, every time she turned from lying face down to face up, she would instantly burst into tears. Then, she’d pour her heart out to me about everything going wrong in her life. I listened politely, offering only the occasional one-word acknowledgment.
She never tipped me in cash, but she did share astrological advice. While I’m not a believer in that sort of thing, I appreciated the thought behind it.
Their Client Gave Them—And Their Loved Ones—Scabies
I’m not a massage therapist myself, but I used to date one. She ended up catching scabies from a client, and then I got it from her. To make matters worse, my entire family—and even our dog—caught it from me.
We shelled out around $300 on lindane treatments and had to cover all our furniture in trash bags for three weeks straight. It was a nightmare.
Their Client Left a Bloody Mess
I’m a male massage therapist. While practicing in [Canada], I encountered the grumpiest client I’ve ever had. She was visibly annoyed to be escorted to the room, responded to my questions with grunts during the session, [glared] as she left the room, and practically hurled the face cradle towel at me before heading to the restroom.
When I returned to the room to set up for my next client, I was hit with an overwhelming metallic smell. I lifted the sheets and discovered blood everywhere. In a moment of horrified disbelief, I glanced at the towel in my hand—it was also covered in blood. The woman had apparently started the heaviest period imaginable. Later, my female coworkers were impressed by how calmly I handled the situation. But let me tell you, I never want to see that much blood on my table again. Ever.
Clients Expected to Be ‘Warmed Up’ First
My ex used to work as a massage therapist. Her worst experience came when she started a job at a massage parlor. Everything seemed normal at first. They set her up in a nice space with all the lotions and supplies she needed. She would earn 50% of the revenue for each massage.
Then, she realized the place wasn’t what it appeared to be. It turned out to be a [call house]. Her role was simply to “warm up” the clients before they headed downstairs to the prostitutes. The worst part? The boss would sometimes leave her alone, and men would come in looking for more than just a massage—sometimes drunk, late at night.
Needless to say, she packed up and left as quickly as she could.
Client Needed Dead Skin Removed Monthly
One of my regular clients had a severe health condition that required treatment on his calf. I can’t recall all the details, but I’ll never forget his leg. It had to be treated to remove dead skin every month, which would flake off in large pieces.
His Achilles tendon was so exposed that I could see behind it. He had moved to the area specifically to walk in the ocean. After a few months, there was actually some improvement.
Client’s Cyst Popped During The Massage
I just graduated in April, and I’ve witnessed some wild things…
There was a guy who would come to the on-campus clinic for massages from the students. Well, one day, his cyst popped… warm pus shot out three feet and splattered on the curtain. The smell was absolutely disgusting.
Their Client Was Unusually Focused on Toes
Back when I was still in school, I had a client who had an unusual request: he wanted me to focus specifically on his toes. After spending an uncomfortable amount of time working on them (ugh), he then asked for glute work — and proceeded to pull down his tight shorts, exposing his [hairy] backside.
It definitely wasn’t what I had anticipated, especially as a newcomer to the field. Needless to say, I quickly pulled his shorts back up.
Their Client Laid the Wrong Way on the Table
It wasn’t awkward because the guy never knew we figured it out, but apparently, this client I let into the room to get settled (wearing only a towel) had laid on the table the wrong way. He thought the face hole was meant for… well, you know, to let everything hang through there!
It might have been comfortable for him, but the therapist said she had to hold back laughter when she realized what was going on.
