Her Mother Rejected Her for Being a Girl & Told She Was Unattractive — Now She’s a Celebrated Star Named Among the World’s Most Beautiful

Once referred to as “fatso” and with no desire to become a Hollywood sensation, this actress has undeniably carved out a remarkable career. After landing her breakout role, she received so much attention that she earned a prestigious recognition.

She has shared that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up under the watchful eye of her strict father. Despite enduring bullying and being labeled unattractive, she eventually found inner peace and married the love of her life.

What Was Her Childhood Like?

In her memoir, This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare, the actress shared details about her childhood and her mother, who she revealed in a 2017 interview still performed in subways.

Her mother had worked as a teacher at the actress’s school until the fourth grade. Hailing from Georgia, her mom took a break from teaching and began singing in subway stations.

Her mother soon realized she could earn more from performing than working for the Board of Education, so she decided to pursue it full-time. The celebrity recalled how her mother would take her and her brother to the subway, where she’d sing for about five hours.

The actress remembered sitting on a bench within view or hearing distance, either doing her homework or reading. While her mother performed at Penn Station in New York City, she would explore the station or visit a nearby bookstore.

At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books from the shelves and read without having to pay. She suspected they gave her this privilege because of her mother’s connections. From time to time, she would ask her mom for money to buy the latest “Clue” or “Nancy Drew” book.

Her mother always obliged, encouraging her to focus on her reading. In contrast, her father was very strict. Originally from Senegal, he studied architecture in France before moving to New York, where he worked as a cab driver.

The actress revealed that both of her parents spanked her during her childhood, but she dismissed the idea of labeling it as abuse, even when directly confronted. She pointed out that people tend to view others’ experiences through their own perspectives.

For her, spanking was a culturally ingrained method of discipline, particularly in communities of color, and not an act of malice. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were more stable, influenced his views on discipline.

After relocating to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a far more dangerous area—he believed strict discipline was essential to keep his children safe. While it took years for him and his daughter to truly understand one another, she never viewed him as abusive, particularly noting how much more relaxed he became with his younger children over time.

She fondly remembered a moment when her father gently allowed her small freedoms, like letting her fetch the mail while he watched carefully from the doorway.

He would caution her against using the staircase, always worried about her safety, and waited for her to shout from the elevator once she was out of his sight. Ironically, her brother, just 11 months older, had much more freedom. Sadly, a part of her childhood also included being bullied.

Life’s Harsh Realities

At the age of six, the actress, who grew up in Harlem, began to notice the comments other children made about her. She spoke about the bullying she faced at that time regarding her weight, saying, “You know, it’s that weird thing where I realize something about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to tear you apart. And I have to tear myself apart.”

The star continued, “That was the age when people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah, blah. That’s when I really started noticing.” In her book, she shared how, in fourth grade, she prayed to God to make her less sensitive because of how harshly she was teased.

At that point, her parents’ marriage was falling apart; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She remembered crying for hours and feeling a tightness in her chest when someone said something painful.

Panic attacks made it hard to breathe, and she often felt as if she might die. Realizing she could cry for up to three hours at school, she began praying about her emotional sensitivity, not realizing she was experiencing a medical issue.

The actress silently struggled with depression and anxiety throughout elementary and junior high school. These challenges continued into high school, with panic attacks becoming more frequent, especially during her commute to school.

After transferring to a new school, her difficulties deepened, and she came to understand that her problems weren’t solely due to being bullied about her weight. Eventually, she reached out for medical help and opened up about her struggles.

The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images

Another painful memory was the sense of rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star admitted that this sounded harsh, but it helped her understand that “being a Black woman wasn’t going to be easy. That’s what my mom taught me.”

Her mother believed raising a daughter was challenging because girls face tough lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I received about being a Black woman. Now, as an adult, I wish I could erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these obstacles, fame eventually came her way.

The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images

Becoming an Actress and Facing Criticism

By 2010, the actress had risen to fame, staying in lavish hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was in the UK for the London Film Festival. She admitted that she hadn’t envisioned the life she now led.

Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to fund her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a spontaneous impulse. She had just started her third year of college, with only three minor theater roles on her resume, yet she landed the lead role in Precious.

Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images

She skipped her classes to take on the lead role in the film, which became a breakout success at Sundance in early 2009. The movie garnered three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, and an Academy Award nomination.

Following her nomination, a well-known radio host took to the airwaves, calling it an anomaly. He claimed that Sidibe’s Hollywood colleagues were only “pretending” to embrace her and predicted she would never act again due to her weight.

Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images

The star revealed that she never aspired to be an actress and was taken aback by the film’s success. She mentioned that she has a neutral accent, explaining, “I don’t have what’s called the black accent.”

Despite lacking formal acting training, she understood her character would need an accent, so she lowered her voice to match the role. Her rise in Hollywood was also fueled by her determination and relentless effort.

Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images

Despite two psychics foreseeing fame for her, Sidibe never imagined she would achieve the same level of recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she thrives both in front of and behind the camera, though her path also involved an important decision about her health.

Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images

Choosing Surgery

In May 2016, after years of body shaming and difficulty shedding weight, Sidibe opted for laparoscopic bariatric surgery. The choice came after both she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

The actress said she went through with it because she didn’t want to live in fear of diabetes-related complications. She shared, “I honestly [used to] stress constantly about losing my toes.”

Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images

Sidibe voiced her frustration over people assuming they cared more about her well-being than she did. “But no one cares more than I do. Of course I care. I’ve lived in this body my whole life, and I didn’t want fear to control me anymore. I’ve felt that way for a long time,” she said.

Even after having surgery, she remained fixated on her appearance, diet, and weight. Still, she gradually learned to trust herself and embraced the mindset of “faith over fear,” recognizing that her choices were hers alone.

Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

At first, she stepped on the scale five or six times a day, monitoring every natural change. Over time, she let go of that habit and now checks her weight every couple of weeks or only when she feels it’s necessary.

During the first 17 days after her surgery, Sidibe stuck to a liquid-only diet and fell into a depression. But by 2017, she had embraced structured meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking her own food, working with a nutritionist, and using apps to track her meals.

Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

She also made a point to stay active, relying on her Apple Watch to monitor her movement. At her home in Los Angeles and on set in Chicago, the actress kept tricycles handy, often riding them around during lunch breaks.

She shared that she felt physically stronger, more agile, and finally free from the fear of diabetes-related complications. After her breakthrough in Precious, she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue—an accolade she described as “really dope!”

Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

Still, Sidibe candidly admitted that she probably wouldn’t have been selected if she weren’t famous. She noted that those kinds of lists usually highlight public figures, not everyday people.

Although she considers herself beautiful—grateful to her parents for her striking features—she often questions whether others truly see her the same way. “Aside from my ridiculously stunning [expletive] features, like these cheekbones and this skin tone? Please. Absolutely gorgeous!” she said, affirming her confidence with trademark humor.

The actress acknowledged that much of her life was spent being told she was unattractive—both by strangers and people within her own circles. Even after being listed among the Most Beautiful at age 26, truly accepting that title proved challenging.

Years of negative messaging weren’t easily erased, even with professional acclaim. While she now sees her own beauty, she still views compliments from others with caution.

“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not sure you really believe that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as an intimate truth: “It’s like my own little secret.” She emphasized that confidence isn’t something you earn once—it’s something you work at every day.

For her, confidence is like putting on lipstick—it needs to be reapplied regularly. Wearing heels, styling her hair, being smart, having supportive friends, and laughing often all boost her self-esteem. Confidence doesn’t come automatically; Sidibe builds it with intention. Regardless of her size, she loves doing photo shoots and fully embraces her body.

Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others

Sidibe once said of photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” More than that, it affirmed the little girl inside her—the one who used to cry, convinced she didn’t belong in front of a camera.

That sense of self-worth didn’t come easily. It wasn’t until she was about 21 that she began to shake off the harsh labels others placed on her and define herself on her own terms. Tired of being boxed in by society’s expectations, she chose to embrace who she truly was.

Lee Daniels, the director who gave her the breakout role in Precious, praised Sidibe not just for her performance but for the unwavering strength and presence she brought to the role—qualities that now define her both on and off screen.

He remarked, “[Gabby] might be in denial or possibly on a different level than the rest of us, but no matter what, she really tugs at your heart in the film.” In response, she said, “I was like, ‘What? I’m in denial?’ No, I’m fully aware of what I look like. I’m very conscious of that.”

Asked about the source of her confidence, she shared, “It came from within me.” She continued, “One day, I simply decided I was beautiful, and I started living my life as if I were a beautiful girl.”

Sidibe shared that what helps her feel confident is wearing the colors she loves and using makeup that makes her feel beautiful. Offering advice to others battling with self-image, she stated, “It’s not about how the world sees you. What truly matters is how you see yourself. Your body is your temple, your home, and you should decorate it.”

In 2021, she teamed up with the Child Mind Institute for its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her personal experiences with depression motivated her to collaborate with the nonprofit to launch the initiative, Getting Better Together.

The actress opened up about being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder at around 19 or 20. In a video, she recalled, “I remember feeling like I had almost no one to turn to. I couldn’t talk to my parents, my friends, or even my friends’ parents. Everyone told me I was too young—too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel overwhelmed.”

She discussed how those around her tried to convince her that her feelings weren’t valid. Thankfully, her own instincts, which told her something was wrong, were stronger, and she ultimately managed to help herself.

However, she acknowledged that not everyone had the means to make those changes or even recognize when they needed assistance. This insight led her to launch the Getting Better Together initiative. She encouraged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, visit ChildMind.org for resources and support.” Since then, she has married and welcomed children.

Celebrating Love and Growth

Gabourey Sidibe has since wed Brandon Frankel, and together, they are raising two children. In April 2025, the couple shared a collection of photos of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they marked their first birthday.

The joyful parents looked back on a year brimming with love and laughter. They described their twins as playful, affectionate, and surprisingly well-mannered. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even requesting songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have grown into lively, adorable little people.

Their parents shared how honored they felt to witness their growth and how excited they were for all the learning and adventures yet to come.

“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they expressed in a heartfelt tribute to the milestone.

The month prior, the couple marked their wedding anniversary with the support of Brides magazine.

To celebrate their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022. The publication paid tribute to them by offering readers a chance to relive their love story through a special link in their bio.