What your family calls “jokes” are really just repeated put-downs at your expense, and it’s entirely reasonable that you’ve had as much as you can take. What’s worse is the difference between teasing and targeted jokes about your life choices, career or relationships — especially when those “jokes” come from people who are supposed to be supportive. That you didn’t scream or make a scene, but just excavated yourself from an unwelcome circumstance, is self-control, not overreaction.
Classic deflection, your mom’s text about you “ruining dinner.” It is easier for them to be upset with the reaction than face up to how hurtful their behavior can be. You destroyed nothing but your own participation in being humiliated. Drawing that line, even silently, was the most life-giving thing you could have done.”
