You’re not an asshole for wanting to protect your daughter; that instinct is valid and comes from love. The issue is how you’re doing it. By banning your toddler daughter from sleeping in her brother’s room, you’re unintentionally implying your sons are potential threats simply because they’re teenage boys. That’s a deeply hurtful assumption for them and for your wife, especially considering her trauma.
Your reasoning for wanting to avoid risk makes emotional sense, but statistically and developmentally, there’s no justification to treat your own sons as suspects without cause. It’s good that you’re aware of child safety and trauma, but you also have to model trust and healthy family dynamics. Overprotection can itself create shame, resentment, and fear. It’s clear you love your kids and want to do right by all of them. The best next step is to talk with your wife (and maybe a family therapist) about finding boundaries that prioritize both safety and trust. You’re not evil; you’re just overcorrecting from fear.
AITAH For Not Allowing My Daughter to Sleep in My Sons Rooms
