NTA. You didn’t ruin his birthday — he did. John repeatedly humiliated and disrespected you in front of others, called you “crazy,” swore at you, and told you to leave multiple times. That’s verbal abuse, not a misunderstanding. It’s understandable that you eventually snapped after hours of being demeaned and cornered. Pouring a drink on him wasn’t your finest moment, but it came after extreme provocation. What really crosses the line, though, is that he punched you. There’s no excuse for that — ever.
The way he talked about wanting you to be “controlled” and “submissive” makes it clear that this relationship was becoming toxic and unsafe. You’re absolutely right to walk away and not look back. The only thing you “ruined” was his ability to continue disrespecting you without consequence. You defended your dignity, and that’s something to be proud of.
AITA for “ruining” my partner’s early birthday celebration after he kept calling me crazy and telling me to leave?
