Psychologists have uncovered 10 behaviors that lonely women may unknowingly adopt.
In 2023, US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy highlighted the loneliness epidemic in the country, emphasizing that this is not just a fleeting “bad feeling” but a serious public health concern.
While the Covid-19 pandemic worsened feelings of isolation, Murthy pointed out that about half of American adults had already reported feeling lonely before the pandemic. In 2024, a poll revealed that 30% of people experience loneliness at least once a week.
Interestingly, men and women seem to process loneliness differently. Women, in particular, are more likely to internalize the feeling, according to Dr. Emily Guarnotta, a psychologist at Phoenix Health.
The US has a loneliness epidemic (Getty Images)
In an interview with Parade, Dr. Guarnotta explained that women are often more likely to believe loneliness is “out of their control” and feel as though they’re lonely because “something is wrong with them,” which leads to feelings of shame.
“This can create a harmful cycle of shame that only deepens their sense of loneliness,” she added.
So, what are the 10 behaviors that lonely women may be displaying without even realizing it?
“Endlessly Busy”
Dr. Michele Goldman, a psychologist and media advisor for the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, discussed how women who always appear busy may actually be suffering in silence.
“Some of the loneliest people are the busiest—those women who are ‘doing it all,'” she explained.
Dr. Gayle MacBride, a psychologist at Veritas Psychology Partners, added that women who constantly over-commit by filling up their schedules could be another red flag.
“Filling your calendar with events and obligations doesn’t necessarily mean you’re forming meaningful connections or feeling emotionally supported,” she said.
“Living to Please”
Dr. Guarnotta explains that lonely women are often more inclined to please others in an attempt to foster a connection.
“They may constantly say yes and put their own needs and desires aside for the sake of others,” she noted. “While this behavior may be viewed positively by others, it can ultimately lead to burnout and resentment for the person who is always trying to please.”
The busy woman might actually be lonely, according to psychologists (Getty Images)
Social Isolation
While it might seem obvious, social isolation is another sign. Dr. Guarnotta notes that some women intentionally avoid social situations when invited, which can indicate underlying loneliness.
“This might happen because these situations make them feel anxious, or because they fear getting too close to others,” she explained. “When invited to social or work events, they may find a way to avoid them altogether.”
Surface-Level Relationships
Psychologists say that some women may appear to have a large social circle but struggle to form or maintain deep, meaningful connections.
Dr. Goldman explained: “Some women are able to make and keep relationships fairly easily, but these connections can often remain superficial. They are relationships of convenience or proximity, lacking true emotional vulnerability. While it might seem like there’s a social connection, the emotional depth is missing, which can ultimately lead to feelings of loneliness.”
Unhealthy Relationships
Dr. MacBride explained that lonely women are often less inclined to end toxic or emotionally draining romantic relationships, driven by a fear of losing the connections they’ve built.
“It can be difficult to set boundaries and walk away when you’re emotionally exhausted but terrified of the emptiness that comes with truly being ‘all alone,'” she added.
Toxic relationships could also be a sign (Getty Images)
Excessively Positive
While it’s easy to picture a lonely person as appearing sad or down, psychologists say the reality is often quite the opposite.
“Excessive positivity can show up as always being in a good mood, only expressing positive emotions, and being unable to tolerate negative emotions, whether in themselves or others,” Dr. Guarnotta explained. “While this trait may seem likable in some ways, it can turn people off if they feel it’s not genuine.”
Worst Critic
Meanwhile, Dr. Jan Miller, a psychologist at Thriveworks, shared that lonely women tend to be much harsher on themselves than others.
“She might notice a rise in her internal critic or negative thoughts, which reinforce the deep-seated belief that there’s something wrong with her, making her believe that’s the reason for her loneliness,” she explained.
Neglecting self-care
Dr. Miller explained that women experiencing loneliness may often overlook their own well-being, such as skipping meals or disregarding basic routines like grooming and personal interests.
“Such behavior could indicate depression linked to loneliness, alongside a broader feeling of ‘what’s the point?'” she noted.
Posting on social media is another tell-tale sign (Getty Images)
Self-Sufficiency
Dr. Guarnotta pointed out that while being a strong, independent woman is often seen as a strength, it can also have its drawbacks. Lonely women, she suggests, may present a facade of independence, using it as a barrier.
She elaborated: “They may choose to tackle things alone rather than seek help. If assistance is offered, they might turn it down. This strategy helps them avoid the pain of being disappointed by others.”
Social Media Habits
Lastly, Dr. MacBride highlighted that excessive scrolling and constant posting on platforms like Instagram could be clear signs of isolation.
“Spending hours scrolling, binge-watching, or sharing content frequently might be a way to compensate for a lack of real-world connections,” she said. “Some even turn to online influencers or social media figures to feel a sense of closeness.”
